After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
this will be a night to untag.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
