Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize