Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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