Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!