a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.