I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
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I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it