I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize