Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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