We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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