I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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