I feel like abortions should bother me more
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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