Whats the glycemic index on semen?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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