Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
