walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I love you.
Bad choice
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize