I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
