i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize