She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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