It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
