i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
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And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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