she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
organizing the empties. That sober.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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