she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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