You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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