Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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