I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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