thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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