It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
