Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
