hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
