Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
