I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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