So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize