Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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