Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
