I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she smelled like a LAN party
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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