I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.