I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
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I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test