wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.