i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need to align my fucking chakras
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize