Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize