It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize