You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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