Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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