Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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