Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
