I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
