i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
