they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
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Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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