when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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