the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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