Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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