Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My vagina is very pro this idea
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
