i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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