I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
