there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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