Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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